Clay Ellis

Dear Clay,

I am sorry that I am not home most of the time. I hate that I have to miss out on day to day life with you. I miss you more than you could ever know. I hope that one day you understand the temporary sacrifices I am making right now for both me but more importantly, you. 

You see, you came a little early in the grand scheme of things and of life. You came right before Mama had to make big decisions about where life would lead me next. Temporarily thinking about what lied ahead, I was content in staying at home with both you and your daddy. But then, he and I decided to go our separate ways. I knew then I needed a change. Your "E-Ma" and "Pa-Pa" love me and you both so much that they offered to keep you so that I could start over and move away to school. I took their offer because even then I knew that I couldn't stay at home to be a full time Mama and college student. I knew that I wanted to do my very best at school so that I could provide the best future for us, me and you. 

I do not regret my decision because I know it is something I have to do. However, it does not change the fact that I miss you everyday and the older you get, the more I miss out on everyday. There are nights when my heart just aches because I want nothing more than to be home with you, to play with you, fedd you, bathe you and then rock you to sleep. But I am doing the best I can here at the best little school in America, Mercer University. I hope that one day you can read this or something similar and be proud of me. One day I will be able to better provide for us because of the education I am receiving here. 

In the meantime, please be sweet to your "E-Ma", "Pa-Pa", Aunt Lilly, Uncle Jakey, and Allison! They are helping us out more than you will ever know! I cannot wait to see all of you on Tuesday!

Love you to the moon and back, little one.